Am I Lazy or Tired? Procrastination ISN'T the Problem

Do you procrastinate but aren't sure if it's whether you're lazy or tired? By the end of this post, you'll know the answer and know what your next step is to overcome it.

Either watch the video below, or read on for the video transcription.

All right, it's time to get super duper honest here. I spent nearly a decade of my life procrastinating on my goals and dreams and it nearly killed me. It was a really difficult time in my life and climbing out of it was far from easy. It was and is still one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so far along now and I'm still learning, but I recognize that there are still so many people in the world who are in a place where I was years and years ago, and I know I can help them move forward and I can be their guide.

So that's why I'm here today. I want to show you the map that I used to help myself move forward so that you can do it faster and easier - with less pain and suffering. So are you excited 'cause now it's your turn.

Okay, the first thing we need to talk about is the difference between what being tired means and what being lazy means because eff lazy. The word lazy implies that that's a part of who you are and that's complete bullsh*t if you ask me. Laziness instead is a symptom of other things.

It's a symptom of stress.

It's a symptom of overwork.

It's a symptom of burnout.

It's a symptom of not being aligned with what you want to be doing with your life.

And actually, after writing the script for this video, I encountered a great Instagram post from an Instagrammer that I follow, @brittfrank.

Being stuck doesn't happen as a result of laziness or lack of motivation.⁣ ⁣ Stuck doesn't happen because of character defects or brokenness.⁣ ⁣ Feeling stuck is a physiological response to a real or perceived threat from the past, present, or future. ⁣ ⁣ You may not think your brain "should" feel threatened and shut down, but the parts of the brain responsible for inertia and immobility are not the parts responsible for logic and reason.⁣ ⁣ You are NOT lazy or crazy. These words are moral judgments...NOT biological realities. #scienceofstuck #brittfrank #lazy #unmotivated #shame #daringgreatly #youcandohardthings #anxious #panicattack #stressedout #depressedlife #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #motivationwall #motivationspeaker #panicattacks #stressedout #stressedaf #numbing #dissociation #addictionawareness #compulsive #recoveryjourney #recoverywarrior #somaticexperiencing #somatichealing #nervoussystem #nervoussystemregulation

Here's the post. It reads, "there is no such thing as lazy. Inertia and immobility happen as a response to trauma from the past or as an energy conservation strategy to survive threats in the future."

Now, I realize that's a very specific response to the word lazy. It's a trauma informed response which is super important, but I understand people reading this might not have histories of trauma. So I wanna circle back to what I said before. Lazy implies that it's a part of who you are. It feels fixed mindset, the idea that you can't change.

That's not true.

Lazy is a state that you can be in like water can be liquid or a solid or a gas. You as a human being can be in a state of laziness (and it's okay) and often, I would argue lazy is a result of exhaustion - either physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, or spiritual exhaustion.

So long story short, you are not lazy. You're likely tired. But the key is tired tends to be a catch-all description for the symptoms of what's actually causing your inaction and procrastination. Sure, you might actually be really tired and if so, that's 100% okay. So rest.

But you could also be feeling tired even if you're not actually physically and mentally tired.

That's just how your body is responding to other common causes of procrastination and inaction.

Let me know if you're ready to stop calling yourself lazy. Write yes in the comments if you are.

Now, to be honest here, I could spend an entire day, if not an entire week discussing the different causes of procrastination. So this is gonna be a shallow dive but I want you to pay attention to which one rings true for you as I list them out, okay?

So one of the common causes of procrastination is problems with permission. If you're struggling with permission, it's because you're not giving yourself permission to let things be hard. And as an aside, you can do hard things and it's okay for them to be hard for you to do and what is hard for you is different from what is hard for somebody else.

If you have depression, getting up and brushing your teeth could be really hard and if you managed to do that one day, you deserve to congratulate yourself because you just did a hard thing. So giving yourself permission to let things be hard and to try to do hard things is huge.

Another place where you need to give yourself permission is you need to give yourself permission to be wrong and to get it wrong. Perfectionism is often a huge cog in the wheel of procrastination because you're afraid to start. If you have this expectation that you're gonna be perfect, you're not gonna give yourself permission to start. You need to give yourself permission to be wrong and to get it wrong in order to start and to take action.

Another place where permission is really important is if you're not giving yourself permission to be 100% you. If you're trying to be someone else or you're trying to be someone you're not, if you're people pleasing, if you're codependent, if you're trying to fulfill everyone else's expectations of you, of course you're gonna resist taking action, of course you're gonna procrastinate because likely you're trying to make yourself do things that aren't actually in alignment with who you are or what you actually need to live your life.

Now, this one's a huge one. It's gonna sound really simple but I want you process it for a second. You need to give yourself permission to not get it all done today.

So many things that we do that are meaningful in this world and in our lives or are necessary to do, you can't get done in two minutes, you can't get done in an hour, you can't get done in one day. They are projects that span multiple days, if not months, if not years and this goes hand in hand with perfectionism. If you are striving for perfectionism, you're probably also going to secretly expect yourself to get it done in one sitting and that is not a reasonable expectation for anyone. So it's really important to give yourself permission to not finish today.

Now, as a side note, if your paper is due tomorrow, you do kinda need to get it done today. But with this information in mind, the next time you have some time to do a bigger project, it'll be easier to start because you can let yourself just work on your opening sentence of that damned essay and wax poetic about it for half an hour and then go watch a Netflix show, be done with it and then move on to your first body paragraph the next day.

Bite sized chunks are your friend.

All right, so that was permission. Now let's talk about another thing that could be secretly creating procrastination and inaction in your life and that is boundaries or lack thereof actually. Let me ask you a question. Do you know what you are and what you are not willing to do?

You need to develop a sense of what you are and aren't willing to do in order to make decisions about how you live your life and how you spend your time, and you need to be able to enforce those boundaries and there needs to be consequences if they're crossed. You deserve boundaries and that's okay.

Now, here's the other one and this goes hand in hand with the whole you don't have to finish today thing. Actually establish a boundary or an end point to your work session for any given day.

So quick example, I'm running two businesses right now but I'm also trying to work on the next draft of my YA fantasy 'cause that's just my passion project and I love it and it gives me life but right now I do not have a lot of time to devote to it. So what am I doing? 15 minutes every weekday morning.

That's it, 15.

I set a timer for 15 minutes. I know I get to stop at the end of those 15 minutes, and knowing that there is an end in sight that I will respect and enforce makes starting so much easier and it prevents me from procrastinating endlessly. It's amazing. Establishing and enforcing an end to your work for any given day, super helpful and super important.

Alright, now we come to the last thing that could be causing your procrastination and inaction and that is mental illness of one shape or form: whether it's depression, anxiety, some form of trauma history. Whatever it is, mental illness creates action and behaviors out of you that are not 100% in your control.

For example, those who have clinical depression really struggle to take action at all and I want to urge you to understand if that's you on the other side of this camera lens that I'm staring into right now, if you suffer from some form of mental illness, do not take 100% responsibility for your behaviors. It is in part a result of your mental illness. Yes, there are things you can do. Yes, there are some things under your control but it is not 100% under your control at this point in time.

Now, if that's you, if you're struggling with a mental illness, I urge you to get the help and support you need and I understand access to things like therapy and medication and doctors and supportive family and friends is not easy. It's a privilege to have access to those things and you may or may not have that privilege right now, in which case I urge you to do more research and to find the many wonderful resources online that are free. I know there are several YouTube channels that are wonderful.

If you follow me on Instagram @CEOWinter, I often curate my Instagram stories to be a whole bunch of trauma informed therapy posts from people that I love following in this space.

And also, if you have a mental illness, please go easy on yourself.

The more meaningful changing your life is to you, the gentler you need to be with yourself in order to move forward. Using any sort of force or shame towards yourself is gonna have the opposite effect and you're gonna regress more instead of move forward and I tell you that from experience.

So please, be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time, one baby step at a time. That's really all it takes. It really does eventually add up I promise you.

And then lastly, it's really important to know that what productivity or taking action looks like for you looks different on someone else. For one person, it might be getting up, brushing their teeth, getting one homework assignment done and then watching Netflix the rest of the day. That might be a really, really productive day for that person.

For another who's both physically healthy and neurotypical (I swear they're unicorns) I don't know how they exist but I'm told they do. That person might get up at 5AM, have a two hour morning routine, go to work, slay it, have a lunch meeting then go and have drinks with coworkers after work, then go home.

I don't understand it at all. I have four to six usable hours a day because of my chronic illness and trauma so yeah, that's a snowball's chance in hell situation for me but anyways, you get what I'm saying.

What productive and fulfilling looks like for you will look completely different for somebody else and that's okay. The trick is to find what productive and fulfilling is for you, today. Don't worry about for you five years from now. Worry about for you, today. Take a baby step and move forward.

So now that you know you're not lazy, you're just tired and tired is usually secret code for something else is going on, you might be asking, well, what the heck do I do about it?

I taught a masterclass on what I believe is the single best technique to help you overcome procrastination and resistance and to help you establish a consistent routine of taking action so that your days add up to weeks, add up to months, add up to years and suddenly before you know it, you have accomplished so much more than you ever expected of yourself and it's amazing. I call it the Butt In Chair Time Masterclass and if you're interested, click here to sign up and you'll get a free copy of the masterclass replay delivered to your inbox.

Next Tuesday, I'll be taking a deeper dive into self-worth and motivation for those with chronic illness and chronic pain. See you soon.