Cal Newport Podcast | DON'T Listen To His "Tough Love" Procrastination Tips
If you're someone who struggles with always leaving important things until the last minute, and are tired of people telling you to "just do the thing," you're in the right place.
By the end of this video you'll know exactly why that "tough love" advice is hurting you instead of helping you, so you can move on to learning tools and techniques that will actually help you get over your procrastination instead of wallowing in the shame that well-meaning people constantly thrust upon you.
And if you happen to be one of those well-meaning people, and someone you care about has sent you this video because they want you to understand their experience, please listen closely. Because I know the last thing you want to do is hurt the person you care about.
Watch the video below, or read on for the full transcript.
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I spent almost a decade in a deep depression that made it practically impossible to be productive at basic life activities, let alone important and meaningful tasks.
If you want to hear that whole story, check out this video.
I'm telling you this because during those ten years, so many people told me to "just do it" and it never helped.
Becoming consistently productive and disciplined in the face of my multiple chronic and mental illnesses has been a journey, which is why I became livid when listening to a recent episode of the "Deep Questions with Cal Newport" Podcast.
I usually enjoy Cal Newport's work, and am especially fond of the way he teaches time blocking, which you can hear my take on in these videos:
Time Blocking Method | Why Time Blocking In Google Calendar Is Overwhelming And What To Do Instead!
Time Blocking Planner Review | Cal Newport Deep Work - Will it work for you?
Time Blocking Planner Review | Cal Newport Deep Work | 3 Months Later
But when it comes to mental health in relation to productivity? Cal Newport has a tendency to be ignorant, if not downright harmful.
On episode 59 of his podcast, he answered a question from a listener named Molly in a way that made me absolutely livid, and I really hope Molly wasn't hurt by his callous response.
I've linked to the full podcast episode here in case you're interested. The section in question starts at 24 minutes and 18 seconds into the episode.
But right now I'm going to play a part of it for you, and then talk about it afterward.
Deep Questions with Cal Newport | Ep. 59
“Molly asks, ‘I’m in graduate school and have found that I often leave papers and studying for tests to the last minute. I rarely have to ask for an extension, but practically I find myself writing most of my papers the week before they are due and stressing myself out.’
Well Molly thanks for that questions. Uh, I’ll start with a mild “tough love” dose, and then we’ll get into some specifics.
So my mild tough love is, look, you’re in graduate school. That means you’re an adult. Uh, so, stop it.
Right? Ya know, you’re not 19. Don’t leave things ‘til the last minute. This is your job. You’re a professional. Let’s figure out how to do this job well, and take on that responsibility and execute.
I think leaving things ‘til the last minute - it’s one thing if you’re a teenager, you’ve just started college, and there’s a lot of other things going on in your life (like trying to emerge as a fully autonomous adult, and build a new social life from scratch, and figure out your identity), and schoolwork is one of the things going on, and there’s some social capital and - look, I stay up late, you know, sort of a tough guy thing.
But by the time you get to graduate school, it’s a job.
So, you know, you’re doing your job poorly right now, so let’s figure out how to do it well.
All right, “tough love sermon” over. Let’s get specific...”
OOF that makes me so mad. Before I dissect what he said, comment below and tell me if you relate to Molly, and if you do, let me know if you feel at all invalidated or hurt by Cal Newport's "tough love sermon."
Cal Newport goes on to give two important pieces of advice for Molly after his quote unquote "tough love sermon." (And I'll talk about them more specifically in a minute.) But if you ask me, his advice barely constitutes a band-aid for what Molly is likely actually dealing with.
Cal Newport's "tough love" advice to just be an adult and do the work is 100% invalidating, and based on the assumption that Molly is simply being lazy.
And if you've been around here for a while, you know that laziness is a myth, it's a harmful social construct.
There are so many things that can contribute to procrastination, including:
Depression
Anxiety
Trauma
ADHD
OCD
Autism
Chronic Fatigue
Chronic Illness
The list goes on and on. And guess what?
More importantly, none of the things on that list can be solved by just sucking it up and acting like an "adult."
What are those, anyway?
Because procrastination and inaction under those circumstances are merely symptoms of an underlying cause, and the only way to overcome procrastination in those circumstances is to address the underlying cause.
And often addressing the underlying cause does not mean seeking a cure to become able-bodied or neurotypical, instead it means looking for and utilizing accommodations that help you succeed (i.e. you change your circumstances to meet your needs instead of trying to fundamentally change who you are).
I'm going to repeat that because it's super important.
More often than not, the goal is to accommodate yourself in ways that meet your needs, instead of trying to fundamentally change yourself in order to meet the expectations of the able-bodied and neurotypical "adults" who shame you for being different.
So let's circle back to the advice Cal Newport gave after his "tough love sermon."
The final pieces of advice Cal Newport gave Molly can be summed up as:
Plan everything in advance, put things on your calendar, and "just execute." Treat it like a job.
Automate repeated tasks On your calendar so they happen at the same time and on the same day each work. And,
Structure your day as a student as if it were a work day at a job.
Ultimately, is this all valuable and helpful advice?
Yes! I'm not disputing that.
These are things I have suggested my own coaching clients try if and when they're able (aka when they don't need accommodations).
What I am disputing is whether this is the right advice for Molly. The fact that they are procrastinating so much implies that there is something else going on that's causing their procrastination. Because remember, laziness is a myth.
Molly could be dealing with Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, ADHD, OCD, Autism, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Illness, or something similar. And if that's the case, Cal Newport telling them to essentially "just stop procrastinating" is the equivalent of handing them a band-aid when they're bleeding internally.
That's not only not helpful, it's actually harmful.
So what advice would I give Molly instead?
I would tell them that if they even remotely suspect that they have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent, that their number one priority is seeking out help from a licensed therapist or specialist to help them get diagnosed and seek treatment and accommodations.
And I would add that if they don't have the means to pay for a licensed professional at this time, that they do research online. There are so many wonderful, free resources available. In fact, it was through online research and books that I was able to get to the root of my mental illnesses and then seek the right therapist for me once I had the means. That work has transformed my life and my ability to be productive.
Lastly, I would tell Molly to check out my Masterclass on a technique that I teach to each and every one of my paid coaching clients. The class is hyperfocused on helping people learn how to start doing something they've been procrastinating on. (Because simply getting started is often the hardest part.)
The class is free, and all you have to do to get access is go to this link and sign up.
And if you already have a therapist, I've been told that my coaching is a perfect complement to therapy. I help my clients bridge the gap between therapy appointments so they can make more progress faster. To learn more, visit the services page on my website.
So Molly, if you're out there and you hear this someday, know that there are better solutions and accommodations for you. You are not alone.
If you liked this video, hit that like button, and be sure to subscribe and share it with your friends. I'll be back next week with another video. See you then. Bye.
